A toast is the shortest form of wedding speech, which is exactly what makes it hard: 60 to 90 seconds, one thought, glasses up. Here are three examples for three roles.
Example 1: The friend at the drinks reception
Situation: A close friend speaks during the drinks reception, before everyone moves in for dinner.
I’ll keep this short, I promise. The fizz is getting warm and Paul gets nervous when people talk about him.
When Paul told me he had taken Sophie on a first date to the café inside a hardware store, I thought: that’s it. Lovely man, no idea about romance. But Sophie told me later that this was exactly when she knew. A man who is himself on a first date will not start pretending once he is married.
So that is what I am drinking to: two people who never had to put on an act for each other. To Sophie and Paul!
Why this speech works: One tiny story, one interpretation, one toast line. The self-mocking promise to keep it short is fulfilled: after about 40 seconds, the glasses are up.
Example 2: The sister at dinner
Situation: The bride’s sister gives a brief toast between courses at the wedding breakfast.
I am the little sister, so I am allowed to say this: as a child, Lily planned toy weddings with military precision. Seating plan, menu, flowers, the lot. Once a ceremony was cancelled because the decorations were not ready.
Tonight I look around this room at the flowers, the place cards, the lights, and I think: some people rehearse for their big day for thirty years.
The most important part of today, though, was the one Lily did not plan. Tom happened to her four years ago at a bus stop in the rain. Sometimes the best things in life are the ones that were never on the list.
To the planned and the unplanned: to Lily and Tom!
Why this speech works: The childhood miniature is reflected in the actual room, so the guests can see the proof. The turn, that the most important thing was unplanned, gives the toast a warm point.
Example 3: The colleague at the evening party
Situation: A work colleague gives a quick toast during the evening reception.
I have worked with James for six years, and I can tell you something: there are two versions of him. Monday-morning James, who needs three coffees before speech becomes possible. And James after work, when Rachel turns up: suddenly awake, suddenly funny, suddenly the person he really is.
Rachel, whatever you are doing, it works better than coffee. Keep him just like that.
To the bride and groom!
Why this speech works: The colleague stays in his lane: he tells what only he can see, the work version of James, and turns it into a compliment to the bride. Thirty seconds is enough.
The toast formula
All three follow the same shape: a concrete image from your own observation, one sentence explaining what it means, then the toast. What you can leave out: formal greetings, a long self-introduction and thank-yous. The longer speeches can carry those.